Germany

Algeria

Play by play

FT: Germany 2-1 Algeria. Bravo, Algeria. Bravo. They bested Germany in the first half and held them to a draw for almost 92 minutes. In the end, who knows what tips the scale. Was it fasting for Ramadan? Was it superior talent? Was it simple perseverance? The world underestimated the Fennec Foxes. They showed glimpses of quality in a relatively easy Group H, but tonight’s performance won the hearts and minds of neutrals everywhere. Most of our war room was pulling for them by the end. Germany now must recover and regroup because they face France in just four days’ time. Schweinsteiger needs to get his legs right. Neuer needs to get his head back in a place where he stays in the box most of the time. And Michael Ballack will need to dry-clean his suit. Goodnight, friends!

Germany 2-1 Algeria. DIE DEUTSCHEN SCHLAFEN…AND ALGERIA MAKES THEM PAY!!! It’s a nice consolation for Algeria.

Germany 2-0!!! This goal doesn’t deserve capital letters because Mesut Oezil doesn’t deserve it. Kramer passes to the Gunner who takes his time, squares back for Kramer whose shot is saved and spilled right to Oezil to ACTUALLY, FINALLY finish. A brutal end for Algeria.

Schuerrle has a go, ignoring Mueller, but his shot is blocked. Immediately, Germany attacks again. Mueller plays through Kramer, but his shot is saved! Then, another chance that is pulled back when Mueller rounds the goalkeeper, but no one is there to help.

There’s not much left in the tank for either team. The substitutes don’t have anyone to help them. We could really use a “Performance Enhancing Drug Break.”

Bastian Schweinsteiger hobbles off and Kramer replaces him. It was a long night for the German.

The captain Philipp Lahm is booked for trying to de-pants Brahimi. A dangerous free-kick to concede.

Play resumes and Germany is threatening. Fatigue looks to be setting in for the Algerians, as it is for everyone in the war room.

We’re wondering if Muller’s free kick is better than this one from 1974.

That’s the end of the first half of extra time. Germany has controlled play, but still conceded chances. They must know their defense isn’t good enough to sit back on the one-goal margin. I really, really hope we see the Algerian Zlatan. But that’s just me…

Mostefa nearly scores!!! Sami Khedira shanks a clearance and the ball falls for Mostefa who really should have done better. Everyone in the war room thought he had equalized.

Germany has all sorts of space now. This could get ugly for Algeria. 

Germany 1-0. SCHUERRLE SCORES!!! MUELLER SHIELDS A DEFENDER AND BARGES INTO THE BOX. HE SQUARES FOR SCHUERRLE AND THE PASS IS BEHIND HIM, BUT HE OH-SO-NASTILY DRAGS HIS LEFT FOOT AND BACKHEELS IT IN!!! 90 seconds is all it took.

WE ARE BACK AGAIN…STILL…*sigh*

FT: Germany 0-0 Algeria. It’s not over. Germany nearly scored about 100 times in the final 10 minutes, which is about the number of times Manny Neuer left the box. We’ve already begun the “Algeria should be proud they at least forced extra time” narrative, but they’re not out of it. Yes, Germany dominated–and could have won 5-0 by now–but this is a weird World Cup. Just about anything is possible. I say “just about” because, as you know, there have been “meetings” with “leaders.” Grab another beverage and get ready for another 30 minutes of extra time!

As regular time winds down, it’s time to get philosophical.

WHAT. THE. F#$%? Germany attempts another elaborate free-kick routine and Thomas Mueller…the second guy in the routine…trips (it’s not clear whether it was intentional) and then nothing really happens. EXCEPT TWITTER EXPLODES.

It’s an injury break, NOT a water break, as Halliche is down. Play resumes and Boateng nearly takes off a guy’s arm. He faked an injury after that, but is back up and the ref has awarded a free-kick. Tense moments…

It’s been a touchy-feely night for Manny Neuer. Statistics, if you’re into them, confirm that.

ALGERIA IS HANGING ON SUDDENLY! Once again it’s Mueller. He controls well, pulls the ball inside and shoots with the outside of his right-foot…JUST WIDE. This is getting fun.! Jogi is not having fun though.

Khedira crosses for Mueller, but his header is right at M’Bolhi! He saves and spills. Schuerrle shoots again, but it’s deflected out for a corner. The game is opening up with 10 minutes to go…

This guy is at the stadium and shouldn’t be on his phone because HE IS AT THE STADIUM.

Mueller, as usually, is pushing his Kamaraden to pick up the tempo. The striker finds his way to the end-line and crosses for Schweini, but ol’ Bastian’s header glances wide.

Allegedly, it’s the Algerians who are fasting, but I’m pretty sure it’s really the Germans.

Manuel Neuer just charged out of the box for the…I don’t know, tenth time this match! The German defense is bizarre.

Mustafi is laying face down on the pitch. He’s now in a downward-facing dog position. He’s now limping off. It looks like he pulled his Kompany (groin). Sami Khedira is coming on for him.

Let’s check in on the Algerian bench.

Halliche, who’s on a yellow, fouls Schweinsteiger and gets reprimanded. Free-kick in the attacking half, but Algeria clears the dangers.

The tone has changed. Germany’s attitude is improving and Algeria is slowly losing their shape. Corner-kick after a delightful lob from Lahm and an attempted cross by Schuerrle. 

REWIND: An important sub.

Don’t make the mistake, though, of thinking Mexico has a monopoly on sombreros.

This guy is going to be the star of this game…if M’Bolhi doesn’t steal his thunder!

AMAZING STRIKE FROM LAHM IS TIPPED WIDE BY M’BOLHI! A gorgeous touch from Schweini and a better first-time shot by Lahm forces one of the saves of the tournament!

After surviving a dangerous counterattack, Germany is back in possession only to lose it again and force Neuer to (again…I’m tiring of that word) leave his box and clear for his horrible, horrible defense.

And, in case you need an update on the photographer…

Meanwhile, in Algeria…

That didn’t take long to start again…

The second half has started like the first did. Germany is sitting in Algeria’s half and have no ideas. Suddenly, Oezil plays a beautiful ball into the box. The shot is deflected out. And then it’s played back in! Hoewedes rises to head powerfully, but right at Algerian Tim Howard M’Bolhi.

We are back! Andre Schuerrle is on for Mario Goetze.

Let’s recap, Manny Neuer is trying to escape the German defense because he knows of an imminent “event” which may or may not involve the president of Uruguay, the interior minister of Germany, and Sepp Blatter? This is air-tight #ConspiracyTalk. My final question is this: who’s the guy that just “happens” to be blurred out in the background? This is all too much…

Hey, look! It’s Germany’s minister of the interior! Wait, who’s that guy leaving? #ConspiracyTalk

Governador Tarso Genro, ministro do interior da Alemanha e presidente da FIFA, Joseph Blatter.

A photo posted by Guilherme Gomes (@gomes_guilherme) on

Maybe Manny Neuer knows something we don’t about something that allegedly might happen in the second half… #ConspiracyTalk

Wait a sec…didn’t Jose Mujica call Sepp Blatter and his FIFA cronies “hijos de puta” yesterday? What’s this all about? #ConspiracyTalk

By goalkeeping standards–and center-back standards–Manny Neuer has been everywhere. This heat map should scare the Kacke out of Jogi Loew.

HT: Germany 0-0 Algeria. Revenge motivates some more than others. Perhaps these Fennec Foxes remember 1982, or have been shown a graphic video to incite a strong response. I have seen no proof that Algeria DOES NOT believe this German team is responsible for every hardship in the North African nation. In other news, how great were those kits?

It seems the non-profit executive is at the stadium to check on his goldmine…er…project.

REWIND: M’Bolhi foils Goetze.

Halliche is booked for a late challenge on Schweinsteiger. Deserved.

THE ALGERIAN TIM HOWARD, M’BOLHI SAVES!!! After spilling a shot, Goetze runs onto it and shoots, but the man in the gloves (incidentally, his old college nickname) makes himself big and blocks the shot. 

A long throw is headed out of the box and right to Mostefa. He blasts a shot that has Neuer going the wrong way, but deflects just wide. Yet another bullet dodged.

Half chance for Thomas Mueller that goes well wide. Germany is enjoying the bulk of possession, but it’s as if they’re back-line defends in slow motion. A counterattack is one thing, but Algeria keep wreaking havoc when clearly outnumbered by Germans. Weird, I know.

Remember earlier when we talked about revenge? It turns out some of the fans DO remember…

The World Cup is amazing, not just for the play on the pitch and the opportunities it brings for players, but also for photographers. Bless his heart, this one really doesn’t need a lens that powerful.

Another mind-boggling German defensive effort. Mertersacker mishandles a straightforward trap, giving Slimani a chance to flee. Mertersacker then tackles it back toward Neuer, who rushes out of goal (again) and slidetackles it away for a throw-in. WTF, Germany? WTF…

It’s time to broach everyone’s favorite topic. #ConspiracyTalk

FIRST FOUL THROW-IN OF THE WORLD CUP!!! Yes, I’ve watched every minute.

There is considerable love in the Internet for Fennec Foxes. I really don’t think the Algerian players look like this, but I can’t help but feel sympathetic.

REWIND: Algeria offside goal that almost ended Europe.

The Germans have settled, but still look discouraged. You’d think someone could engineer an idea <– I promise this is the last "German engineering" reference.

ANOTHER SHOT, THIS TIME BY GHOULAM THAT BLAZES JUST WIDE! What is going on?!?!?!

GOAL!!!! OFFSIDE!!!! Napoli’s Faouzi Ghoulam crosses beautifully to Slimani whose header beats Neuer, but he was a yard offside! Germany continues to have numbers back, but they are vulnerable!

Werder Bremen watching the game at Dr. Evil’s private retreat. That’s a hard invitation to decline.

Slimani very casually waltzes in between Mertersacker and Boateng, turns back to his right and shoots just high from a sharp angle. A great scoring chance and perhaps a missed extra ball to the center. The Germans were stunningly lazy in defense!

A bizarre moment, as Manny Neuer leaves the box and has to make a good defensive play to clean up his mess. Is Boateng a Warg? Did he go into Neuer’s mind and make him become a right-back?

This kid didn’t get the memo from the public relations department about combating “aggressive German” stereotypes. Settle down, bud!

Here, he is–the Algerian Mourinho. 

It’s Mourinho-ball from the Fennec Foxes, which is not promising for neutral spectators. An early goal would make for a more entertaining match, but will almost certainly mean a long, rough outing for Algeria.

Physical play from Algeria, but Germany is already setting up shop in the attacking half. The ref is 0 for 1 on offside calls, but saved Algeria with that one.

WE ARE OFF!

Some are even sporting aloe-cucumber masks!

Algeria fans are ready to go!

Não é o momento de explodir amigo #AlemanhaxArgelia #FigueiraNaCopa

A photo posted by @douglassgc on

Today’s most popular man on the pitch just might be Sandro Ricci, the Brazilian referee, who is so enthused by his hobbies he lists them in all caps– MOVIES, READING, RUNNING. He’s a passionate man.

Fasting for Ramadan might slow down some people (I can’t imagine making it 10 minutes in this weather without water), but some people are just filled with the spirit.

You don’t know Germany unless you know Herbert Grönemeyer. In the official music video for “Zum Meer,” you’ll feel like you’re trapped somewhere in between Game of Thrones and a Stieg Larsson novel. Which is a lot like Germany.

It’s not that we don’t like national anthems. We do. And we enjoy watching grown men cry with cameras inches from their tears. But here on the live blog, we like to give you a taste of each country’s music culture. Let’s start with a little Algerian pop. Sort of. It’s El Ghazi’s “Cdah cdah a Tawes.”

Remember, folks. This is about revenge. For a possible (probable) conspiracy 32 years ago. In fact, this match is threatening to tear apart families AND produce stands.

You don’t know Algeria’s starting eleven. You might. If you do, you should probably get help (unless you’re Algerian in which case you’re a good supporter!).

With Mats Hummels out with the flu, 22-year-old Sampdoria center-back Shkodran Mustafi gets the nod in a very tall defensive back-four. In the center of midfield, Bastian Schweinsteiger is preferred to Adam Goldberg stunt double Sami Khedira.

They’ll need to stick together because the Germans fairly comfortably won Group G (a “Group of Death,” some have said) and look as formidable as ever. Thomas Mueller continues to open his mouth wider than any human since Steven Tyler. Philipp Lahm has been as squirrelly as ever. Actually, there have been few stand-outs for Jogi Loew’s side. It’s just a very talented, cohesive team.

Although Group H wasn’t the strongest group, Algeria was tested. To put it in NFL commentator terms, The Fennec Foxes have a stick-together-tiveness.

For those of us who watched Algeria’s Group H progress, we know they don’t need a 32-year-old inspiration to be tenacious. Here’s a few more details about the Fennec Foxes.

Welcome to Porto Alegre for this Round of 16 match between Germany and Algeria. After Ni Geria’s loss to France, Al Geria is the last Geria standing. Today, the Desert Foxes are looking for revenge–that is, if you buy into the notion that Germany was responsible for Algeria’s bizarre exit in 1982. As Frank Dell’Apa explains, while most of the Algerian players weren’t around for the “Game of Shame,” it has been ingrained in the collective consciousness of Algerians, who do not tend to easily forget injustices.” We will see. To start, here’s where the “Game of Shame” probably won’t be avenged: the Estádio Beira-Rio.